What you believe

If you believe what you like in the gospels, and reject what you don't like, it is not the gospel you believe but yourself.

St. Augustine

h/t happy catholic

And this one made me laugh...

Miss O'Neill was dumpy, moonfaced, sallow, colorless, and we hated her. We hated her as only a pack of West Side barbarians could hate a teacher of arithmetic. She did not teach arithmetic — but that is how much we hated her.

by Leo Rosten